RevSpork

You don't impress me

Not that I'm a fan of Mass, or even consider myself a Roman Catholic anymore, but anti-war protests during Easter Mass strikes me as tacky, ineffective, and self-defeating. Who did these six people think they could have converted by ranting at worshipers and squirting themselves with fake blood during a religious observance of the resurrection of Christ? Did they really believe worshippers would talk to themselves about how right or wrong the war was after services instead of wondering out loud what a bunch of doofuses anti-war activists are? I support same-sex marriage, but I didn't masturbate to gay porn at Holy Name Cathedral during mass on Palm Sunday. (No pun intended, believe it or not.)

There are better, more effective ways to protest the war than to ruin people's Easter, and there are far worthier targets than a corrupt machine politician and a nondescript Catholic official. Yeah, yeah, Cardinal George and Dickhead Daley chatted with the president recently. Whoopie. I'm sure Hillary Clinton has had a chat or two with the Prez too, but it doesn't mean she suddenly became a babbling pro-war political chickenshit; no, it took far more than gabbing with Bush to turn her to the Dark Side.

Sorry, kids, but you didn't convince me of anything, other than the sorry fact that today's antiwar activists have run out of good ideas and reduced themselves to desperate pleas for attention.

No, I'm not turning into a conservative. Now get off my lawn.

Anxieties about Barack Obama

I hear it from my wife. I hear it from friends and coworkers. Because for fans and supporters of Barack Obama's presidential campaign, the idea of a liberal, articulate politician seeming to point the way to a positive, hopeful future has stepped beyond mere romantic fantasy. Even setting aside the Bush Junior years, which certainly rank as some of the darkest, most cynical years of American history, it's hard to summon up genuine enthusiasm for any president during my lifetime.

It feels too good to be true, doesn't it? We'll wake up one day and find the whole feeling a cruel illusion. Some Sirhan Sirhan-like creature will gun him down, or he'll peel off the mask and reveal a more cynical, corrupt - in other words, business as usual - face.

It's the curse of mortality - hope is never permanent. Eventually either the hope or the hoper evaporates into the air. The fear is ugly as fresh dog shit, and even as our hopes and aspirations for our nation reaches ever higher heights, that ill-smelling whiff - or just the idea of it - gathers its forces in our brain cells, just waiting for the opportunity to take over the brain with a sardonic "Ha! I told you it was all a crock!"

All I can say is...don't fret. This isn't 1968. If anything, this is the antidote to 1968...and 2000...and 2004. We are witnessing the end of the Decade of the Asshole. Hasn't this decade felt that way? Assholes who fly planes into buildings, assholes who run our country into the ground, assholes who loot their corporations and wipe out their employees and stockholders, assholes who always win reality TV shows, assholes who bilk the poor out of their money and houses and pensions, assholes who prevent gays from getting married while snorkling some twink on the side...we've jumped the shark on that bullshit. The national nightmare will end.

Could I be wrong? Sure. I have my doubts like everyone else. But worrying about it won't make it happen or not happen. Let it go. All shall be well, dammit.

YearlyKOS '07

When I finally have the time to post about it all, I will. Honest.

One thing I feel I don't have the time to delay, however, is thanking Mr. Sterno for giving me the opportunity to experience such an amazing, historical event. I really can't thank him enough, but I'll try.

Thank you!

Ain't that America?

What do you do when you're a preacher, attacking gay rights from the pulpit until your face turns purple, but then you get caught trying to hang with the homosexual menace in as intimate a way as possible? Well, you could get yourself "cured," like Ted Haggard, who now proclaims himself as straight as an arrow, or you could take the route this fellow did: beg the ACLU for help to get you out of this mess.

Of course you could ask yourself, "Was the lewd conduct charge justified?" I do agree the charge is of dubious constitutionality, but it just tickles me pink (har!) that the subject of this hoo-ha is someone whose religion forbids such skin flute business.

Death of a Character

The death of Molly Ivins today ended an amazing career... no, that doesn't work. I can't adequately write how I feel, but I'll simply state what's on my mind.

Molly Ivins was one of my literary heroes, someone whose wit and storytelling skills both inspired me and made me laugh. Her politics were mostly my own, but I would have enjoyed reading her work even if I were a Republican. She was a writer for the "regular folks": she took complex political issues and distilled them through her Texas filter, making them accessible to all.

Molly could be frustrated by right-wing yahoos and political sell-outs, but she never lost her faith in Americans. She was an enthusiastic devotee of our democracy and forever believed the power of the people would eventually triumph over the forces of greed, corruption, and ignorance. That eternal optimism, combined with a mental toughness, speaks volumes why it took a good eight years for breast cancer to finally take her life.

I did have the opportunity to meet her once, in 2003, while she was promoting her latest book (her third collaboration with Lou Dubose), Bushwhacked. She was typical Molly, telling stories many of the audience had heard before but didn't mind a bit. We got autographs, too; mine reads: "Raise more hell, laugh more too!" I do my best.

Molly Ivins was down to earth, hilarious, and a true patriot. She was far more a quintessential American than anyone in the White House could boast. Her words of wisdom, her stories, and her hope for America's future will always be an inspiration for me.

Check out this obit of Molly Ivins in The Nation.

Barack Obama: Radical Muslim crackhead?

I'm a full-time Obama fan, and have been since he was elected to the Senate just over two years ago. My wife and I disagree whether he's currently presidential material (I think he should go for it; she thinks he should wait until 2012 or 2016), but we both admire his integrity, his hard work, and his empathy for others.

What we both find pretty bizarre is the loony right's attempt to find some dirt, *any* dirt, on Mr. Obama. They've tried seizing on his cocaine dabbling as a teenager, but Obama freely admitted it years ago in his first book, "Dreams From My Father." He admits it wasn't smart, he cleaned up, and went on with his life. It's hard to dig up a past indiscretion when the candidate in question isn't hiding it. Fact is, compared to all the other presidential candidates, Obama is a Boy Scout.

So what's the right wing's answer? Take something with the most tenuous connections to the candidate and mold it into a scandal. Case in point: Barack Obama's middle name: Hussein. Freepers and other loons wove this into a vivid Muslim fantasy, and since a lie told several times becomes plausible, it got picked up by the mainstream media. Fox News started referring to Senator Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama," as if his middle name would immediately initiate comparisons to Saddam Hussein, when in reality the two men have as much in common as Charles Schultz and Charles Manson. The good news about these lies rising to the mainstream, of course, is that they can be easily dismissed, as they have by both CNN and the Associated Press, who looked into allegations of Obama's so-called ties to radical Islam and found them completely without merit.

But that won't stop the right wing. They know that unless Obama himself stumbles, they have virtually nothing to hang on the junior senator from Illinois. Hillary Clinton, of course, carries a lot of controversy on her back, but at this early time in the election process, it's not hurting her very much. Unless John Edwards' campaign picks up some serious steam, the Democratic primary will most likely be a two-person race. But what of the GOP?

We have some candidates right now; the two major ones are former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani and Arizona senator John McCain. There are a few others, but nobody particularly stunning. However, in the light of the ludicrous charges against Obama, I figured I would make up some of my own against the GOP nominees for President. I'll throw in a truthful one as well, just for laughs.

Whipped santorum

Now, it's not quite official yet: George Allen has not yet conceded the Virginia Senate race, and I don't care what he or anyone says, I don't trust Joe Lieberman for a minute. His election victory was due to Connecticut Republicans. Assuming Webb wins Virginia, Lieberman will be tempted with considerable clout by the GOP to switch, and it would surprise me even less if he actually jumped ship.

However, let's not worry about that now. Rick Santorum is out, and we should celebrate both his defeat and the man who made it all possible - Dan Savage.

Huzzah!

We interrupt this silence for a nagging question...

When an organized group of people (and terrorists, at that) can start rebuilding nearly a third of their nation immediately after the cease-fire, while our entire nation continues to tangle itself in red tape and politics nearly a year after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita wrecked Louisiana and Mississippi, what does this say about us?

Anyone up for inspecting signatures Saturday?

Hey, it beats sleeping late...sorta. 

Saturday, May 20, 10am+
Event: Volunteer in effort to keep anti-gay referendum off Illinois ballot

"Protect Marriage Illinois" (PMI), an off-shoot of the Illinois "Family" Institute, a vicious anti-gay group that opposes equal employment, housing and access to public accommodations for LGBT people, has filed to put an anti-gay advisory referendum on the November ballot. In order to get the advisory referendum on the ballot, anti-gay will need to have 283,111 VALID signatures of properly registered Illinois voters.  Most experts agree that in order to easily meet this criteria, they would need to submit over 500,000 signatures, but after months of campaigning in various "mega-churches," PMI has said it has filed 345,000 signatures, far short of what they were aiming for. The Gay Liberation Network and others in the newly-formed FAIR Illinois Coalition need many many hours of YOUR volunteer work to inspect the signatures to make sure they are of registered voters and meet other legal criteria.  No experience necessary.

Location: 3342 N. Halsted, 3rd floor (above Lee's Nail Salon and across the street from Sidetrack)
Contact: If you can help out, please send an email to both LGBTliberation@aol.com AND fairillinois@yahoo.com telling us your name, a phone number you can most easily be reached at, and the time(s) you will be there.

Sign or surrender

Defend the internet!