RevSpork

For my 500th post...

...I would like to wish my cool, gorgeous, funny, sangria-making sister-in-law a happy birthday. Remember: no matter how much older you get, you'll never be older than your sister. Have a great time tonight!

Birthdays

The older I get, the less I care about birthdays, including my own. I learned long ago that birthdays don't really mean shit in the grand scheme of things. Whoopie, the anniversary of the first day you were freed from seemingly permanent hot and humid weather, unless you live in south Texas, in which case you might as well still be living in a uterus.

Today would have been my father's 56th birthday. I'm unsure whether I should top his urn with a little pointy party hat or simply forget about it. Birthdays are random creatures of the calendar, itself an artificial measurement of time. We should celebrate people because we like them, not because of their position on the calendar. Birthdays should be abolished and replaced with [your name here]'s day, a day where enough friends and family find the time to get together, throw together a party, and remind [your name here] that [your name here] is worthy of a good time every once in a while. This could happen on your birthday, six months after your birthday, whenever. Hell, have two parties if [your name here] is that cool.

I'll celebrate and honor my father when I feel like it, whether 11 November, 24 October, or Christmas Day. He earned it, even if he's unable to share his presence with me directly anymore. And that's how it should be with everyone.

A birthday shout-out

I hope AmyWOMAN enjoyed her birthday today.  I haven't seen her in ages, but I hope she had a good time on her B-day, cuz I miss her and schtuff.

AmyWOMAN is one of my oldest friends.  (Well, not literally oldest; Pete's at least, what, 67 now?)  Our friendship goes back over 15 years, when we first met as college froshies.  [Note: this does not in any way reveal AmyWOMAN's age.  She could've been a genius and entered college at a young age.  Yeah, she was like, 12 or something, when she started college.  I clearly remember all the Menudo posters in her dorm room.]  We lived in different dorms, persued different majors, and probably would never have crossed paths were it not for the fact we were computer geeks in a very small electronic community.  (It still boggles my mind that I've had at least one e-mail account since 1989, sixteen years ago.  I cannot believe there are people out there with armpit hair who were not yet been born when I sent out a stupid electronic message for the first time.)  It was that tiny electronic social group, maybe a hundred students, where AmyWOMAN and I e-mailed, posted on local newsgroups, and eventually met in person.

When the Girlfriend first met my female college friends, I usually preceded those meetings with the same statement: "Our friendship is, well, somewhat complex."  This generally translates to, "I wanted to jump her bones back in college, but we're really good friends now.  Trust me."  My friendship with AmyWOMAN, in contrast, was more simple: friendly, platonic, silly, warm.  There were times when that friendship cooled, but the *connection* never really broke.  We're very different people, but also have a lot in common: intelligent urban kids, cruddy childhoods, outsiders, overthinkers, loves being silly when the opportunity arises.  AmyWOMAN's small, shy grin never fails to make me do the same.  But there ya go.

Anyway, happy b-day, Meez Woman!  Have many more, geddemmit.

Sporksdates

Folks have contacted me recently, asking me about the Reverend Spork Non-holiday Gift-Exchange Program, mostly in the form of, "Ummm, what's my day again?"  Here's the answer to that question:

Myke: 17 January
Heather: 1 February
JiffySquid: 11 April
Eighmie: 26 June
Yosha: 10 August
Liz: 19 November
Randy: 27 November

It's still not too late to sign up for the gift-exchange program.  Remember, the real fun is giving without society pressuring you into it.

(Oh, Myke?  Since I don't get back from my vacation until the 15th, your present may be late.  Sorry.)

Talkin' politics & bad 80's videos

Forgive me if I seem a little wired; my bloodstream consists of 67 percent chocolate chip cookies, 26 percent blue cheese, and seven percent actual blood.  No, I did not eat healthy today, but damn...the Girlfriend makes fan-fucking-tastic chocolate chip cookies. 

I woke up late the day I nearly died

Man, it's been eleven hours since that soccer match, and I'm still exhausted.

Of course, I hadn't played soccer since I was half my current age, so maybe I can be forgiven for lying on a park bench, trying not to barf, after only five minutes of soccer. 

Life's not fucking fair and other obvious conclusions

There is so much evil in the world. Terrorists, murderers, souls so rotten and corrupt they'd destroy the world for a billion dollars. Simply put, they do bad things. Most bad things in the world can be traced to those who get some sort of emotional or mometary rewards from committing them.

Then there are bad things that happen without a trace of evil nearby. They simply pop up without warning, do their damage, and disappear, leaving only pain and misery behind. Tornados contain not a shred of evil, nor do earthquakes, floods, or heart attacks. We recognize the lack of evil in these tragedies, and we even have a phrase for them: acts of God. Personally, I find it hard to believe that God would act like this, or even sanction such acts, but I'm just another mortal with a Mac and a blog.

My best friends from college lost their baby. Gremlin and her husband have been friends of mine for nearly fifteen years. Losing a baby happens a lot, but what made it especially painful was that gremlin had carried the baby, alive and well, for eight and a half months, before she was hospitalized on Friday and the doctors couldn't find the baby's heartbeat.

As a male, I can never imagine what this is like for her. The most intimate I, as a guy, can be with someone else is through lovemaking. A woman can go so much further: she can have an entire human being inside her, depending on her for nourishment and love. To go through all that, to share such a close relationship with someone, and lose the baby just before she has an opportunity to meet him or her for the first time, is cruelty, plain and simple.

I won't go further with this, or offer specifics on what happened; this is gremlin's and her husband's story, not mine. All I can do is offer her my sincerest condolences and tell you she is recovering at the hospital and should be out soon, reunited with their 22-month old son. And I'll be there for them as much as I'm able.

The Good News

I like good news.  It's nice to report it.  It's nice to get the good reactions from friends, the scowls from enemies, and very wet kisses from friendly dogs. 

First, I'd like to congratulate the Brit who became the 25,000th victim to drop by my blog.  He or she was looking for info on Al Green, which I appreciate, because it suggests that there is at least one person out there appreciative of Al's talents.  (Tragically, this may be a heinous fraud.  The 24,999th hit was by a Brit looking for info on "Al Green comedian."  Comedian?  Dude/dudette, there's only one Al Green that counts.  Any other Al Green just ain't worth it.

Second, and even better, is that my bud Yosha and his wife Marla had their daughter yesterday.  It is well known that I'm not a fan of babies.  But Yosha and Marla ended up with a gorgeous specimen of human female.  Send them happy thoughts and congrats.    

And now, a word from a reader

I'm lending some blog space to my friend Al, who has something to say about Bob Welch, a Chicago musician and Bradley alum who is seriously ill and cannot afford to pay his medical bills.

A tribute to my bud