Another Saturday night, and I'm so tired but wide awake. Ever get that, when your body is exhausted, but your brain isn't? Problem is, now that I'm pushing forty, my brain is just as active, but it forgets things at twice the speed. I can't figure out why I can't sleep anymore.
Aphasia? Nah. Armageddon? Nope. Damn.
The older I get, the more wisdom I collect. However, brains are not infinite storage units, so that gathering of wisdom comes at a cost. Something's gotta go, and it's sure not going to be commercials from the 1970s, or ancient football scores, or the chorus to Samantha Fox's "Touch Me." No, my brain needs that crap. So I have to lose vocabulary words I've known for decades, words that come in handy when I'm lying awake in bed... is that... asthma? Antihistamine? Dammit!
I could google the condition and find the word, but that's admitting defeat. And that scares me: will I have to google simple words in order to function in everyday life? Looking for words like that word for when you can't achieve unconsciousness (armadillo?) is just another sign that old age is beckoning, joining such horrific symptoms as finding gray hairs in your nose, looking into toupees, and listening to "smooth jazz" radio stations.
It's 2:15am now. I'm so damned tired. I wish I could shake off this alimony, or Arizona, or whatever the hell I have, and get some frigging shut-eye..
Part of the problem is diet, I know that. I ate a 1/2 pound mushroom cheeseburger at Hamburger Mary's early this afternoon (although I did have a side salad instead of fries), and I passed out for the afternoon as soon as I got home. So should I be surprised when I suffer from anti-snoozia? Of course not. Heavy lunches do me no favors. Nor does eating a Skinny Cow Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Sandwich. Hey, it's low-fat! No problem, right? Feh. It's low in fat, but it's not low-sugar. Why on earth do we eat desserts at night? We should pack on the sugar before dinner, then eat heavy foods.
Screw this, I'm taking a sleeping pill. That should knock me out in a half-hour or so, curing me of my insanity, or anthrax, or...THAT'S IT! Insomnia! Ha ha! Always there, on the tip of my tongue!
Now that that's out of the way, maybe I can go to bed and get some...some...simile? No, um...Samantha? Touch me, touch me, I wanna feel your body...ah, fuck!