Why is it that whenever I’m on Facebook, there’s an ad
informing me that young, attractive women are looking for me? Letting you down easy hasn't worked, so now I have to bring out the big guns.
Stop it, hot young chicks. I’m not interested. If I haven’t responded to your increasingly desperate pleas after six months, that should be a helpful hint right there. I feel like I’m constantly being stalked every time I’m on Facebook. It’s getting to the point where I don’t feel like spending my hard-earned free time there in fear I’ll be harassed yet again by you young, hot chicks.
I’ve held back for a long time, but I finally have to put my foot down: if you continue your search for me, I will have no choice but to ask my wife to go over there and beat the living crap out of you. And she will, too. She knows I’m not tempted by your phony siren song, but you’ve become enough of a nuisance that she has to make you cry. And she will. And I’ll watch. Because catfights…mondo meow!
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