My girlfriend is hopelessly addicted to teddy bears. Worse yet, I find myself gradually attracted to the little guys. I won't go too far into my girlfriend's unnatural interest in teddy bears (I think that's a subject for her to discuss in her own blog), but I do not think it's out of line to inform my loyal readers that the Chicago Tribune's sports page has published more than one letter from a Mr. Albert Bear. A fervent Cubs fan (duh), he's been to many a game at Wrigley and has even posed with fans. Albert, it turns out, resides in my girlfriend's bedroom. I would love my girlfriend to write of her teddy bear adventures in her blog. I guarantee, it's quite intriguing.
Yes, yahoo searches can be fun. This is what I got when searching for santorum on yahoo:
Santorum on eBay. Find santorum items at low prices. With over 5 million items for sale every day, you'll find all kinds of unique things on eBay - the World's Online Marketplace.
I thought to myself, "Damn! You can get anything on eBay!" Sadly (or thankfully), this was not so. Sell dirty panties all you want at eBay, but santorum is right out.
I'm certainly not going to explain santorum: I run a family blog here. But I also want to promote the expansion of the English language where I see fit.
Some of you loyal readers who have been reading both my and my girlfriend's blog have noticed her increasing attention to the latest Michael Jackson scandal. I want to take this time to inform my readers that I have no, I repeat, no intention of writing a single word about this completely grody subject. You can check out *her* blog for your MJ fetish needs. Bleah.
I've never been ashamed of taking anti-depressants. I don't take them so I can be happy and not sad. I take anti-depressants for the same reason people wear contact lenses or hearing aids: to correct a problem my body cannot fix. I don't take anti-depressants to become a better person: I take them so I can be the person I'm supposed to be.
And now I have to go without them for a while. Yes, even reverends have their flaws.
I've now passed 5000 hits on my blog. I'm quite pleased. However, I have no idea how to celebrate. How does one celebrate such a milestone? I have no idea. Perhaps we should consider a system akin to wedding anniversaries. 50 years of marriage, for example, is a golden anniversary. What would mark a golden blog? Any ideas?
I've been itching to write about them for a long time, mostly because I love the show despite its recent unofficial crowning as The Next Big Thing. The Fab 5 are on Leno, they're on magazine covers everywhere, Queer Eye puns abound all over creation. A show on an otherwise obscure network found a mass audience, and when that happens, the swords are unsheathed. "Queer Eye" has become a major target among the gay community because the show's cast are accused of perpetuating gay stereotypes. It's also a target for that age-old sin of the left: it had the gall to find a mass audience, so now all those stereotypes are showcased for the world to see.
Last week I posted about the spate of Christy Henrich photo hunters checking out my blog and my utter disgust with the entire matter. The posting only increased the number of "trigger hunters," or pro-anorexics looking for inspirational photos. I finally decided to input "christy henrich photos" in google and yahoo, and found my blog topped both search engine lists.
I guess the bright side is, they're not going to find any from me. In fact, if looking at google and yahoo is any indication, they're not going to get any help from either search engine: I found no sites hawking pro-ana Henrich photos on yahoo. Apparently, pro-ana freaks will have to browse the underground web for photos of their girls, much like pedophiles do.
So let them look on my blog. Brings up my stats anyway.
It's been a long time since I posted the latest chapter of my Pulitzer-nominated series on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Problem was, I couldn't decide on a proper theme for the latest installment. I wanted to cover the kids, but nothing seemed to pop out. The girlfriend was more in favor of a piece on the Oompa-Loompas, and after a while I've come to agree with her.
But first, I would like a moment of silence to honor the late, great David Battley, who played the immortal teacher Mr. Turkentine in the movie. While nosing through the Internet Movie Database, I discovered the actor had died of a heart attack earlier this year at the age of 67. I am unconsolable. No matter how good or bad the Willy Wonka remake will be, they can never replace Mr. Turkentine.
