One Step Forward, Two Steps Back (updated)

So I was doing much better with the whole body image thing. I really was. Working out, feeling good, my-life-is-a-Special-K-commercial, blah blah blah.

Then, Fourth of July. I'm out with a friend. By way of backstory, Friend is a) very skinny and b) the child of an intensely weight-focused mother. As in, her mother will openly stare at fat people because they're just so fat. We have had very few discussions about weight and bodies. It doesn't come up, possibly by design.

We're downtown on a warm day and happen to pass a roundish woman who's wearing a fairly revealing top. Low cut, plus, under the bustline her top is designed to split open and show her belly button. I had no problem with the belly part; my quarrel would be with showing just so much—pick one feature or the other, but not both. Too distracting.

Friend finds it "disgusting" that the woman would let her belly "hang out like that."

Oh boy.

Thus ensues a discussion about body image, in which I mention that I have been working on my weight for the wedding. Friend's response: "That's good. I wasn't sure if I should say anything--if you were planning to do something, or if you...had just come to a point where you were OK with it."

Er. Yeah.

At the time, I thanked her for not saying anything, discussed my recent dress issues, and let the remark go. But ever since, it's been like...fuck. Because the more I think about it, the more it sounds like she said, "I wasn't sure if you were planning to be less fat, or if you were just OK with being fat." I mean, that's what it boils down to. And now I'm wondering what this friend—who I have known for years—truly thinks of me. I wanted to involve her more in the wedding, but now it feels like that would just invite negativity, and my mother already handles that territory.  I know the next time I see her, it will be on my mind the whole time.

So I'm stuck.  I don't want to see a long-time friend AND I feel like I moved back five spaces on the self-esteem board.

Like...fuck.

Updated with my sister's response to this posting:

"HEY. Why are you going to let that get you down? She has issues herself. We ALL do. And whatever way her issues cloud her judgment about your appearance or about how not to stick her dumb foot in her mouth and say things that she doesn't see as hurtful but are is NOT your problem. F.her if she doesn't like how you look. But I tell you - that's more about her than about you - and you KNOW that. PLUS, you are working towards a goal and doing what you need to do to feel better on that day. So, you won't be a size 2 walking down the aisle? So Fing what? You handled it perfectly. The next time she says something maybe you should tell her to keep her skinny _s_ opinions to herself."

She's like the superhero of sisters, she really is.