ChgoRed, Girl Editor

BROOOOCE

It's Bruce Springsteen's birthday today! What better day to go for a ride with the top down, have a catch with your kids, or call up your old high school sweetheart? You know Bruce would appreciate it.

The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive
Everybody's out on the run tonight
but there's no place left to hide
Together Wendy we'll live with the sadness
I'll love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday girl I don't know when
We're gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go
and we'll walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us
Baby we were born to run

Nobody Nobody Sent

If you’re going to learn anything about Chicago politics, learn this phrase: “We don’t want nobody nobody sent.” Meaning, if you weren’t referred to us by one of our friends, you should just go home. Remember that.

One Father Who Didn't Know Best

You're probably going to be seeing this picture a lot in the next few weeks.

What you should know is that yes, little Sophia Parlock is crying because someone tore up her Bush-Cheney sign. What you should also know is that the crowd around them is there to welcome John Edwards to Huntington W. Va.

In other words, her incredibly stupid father took his three-year-old to act as a counter-demonstrator at an event guaranteed to be full of Democrats.

Moron.

Do I think her sign should have been torn up? No. I also don't think she should have been there in the first place. He didn't need me to tell him he wouldn't get a warm response. Only a senseless parent willingly subjects a pre-schooler to a situation almost guaranteed to be acrimonious.

UPDATE: According to Wonkette.com, this is not the first time this guy Parlock has done this. My apologies--he's more than just a dumb dad; he's an activist.

Crazier Than You Can Imagine

It’s OK to admit it. I know you’re jealous. You’ve been reading the papers and wishing that you could have a Senate race as exciting as mine. You’d love the kind of campaign where a candidate has to clarify that no, he did not mean to imply the mayor is a troll living under a bridge.

That was today’s highlight. The same candidate--Alan Keyes--is now promising to make a controversial statement every day. If you’re a journalist or a left-leaning political junkie in Chicago, this news is manna. If you’re a Republican, you’re most likely reaching for an aspirin.

Bad Themes, Bad Themes—Whatcha Gonna Do?

Awww. I get too busy to visit The Knot for a few weeks, and look what they have waiting for me on my return. From the "Reception Ideas" section.

“I have a whole set of law enforcement themed wedding stuff that I bought at the beginning of our engagement and I decided not to use. You can go to www.fairytaleweddingstore.com to see all of the pieces and how much I paid for them. I have the cake serving set, the guestbook, the guestbook pen, the garter set, and the toasting flutes. All pieces have ribbons on them that say Protect & Serve and have handcuff and key charms on them. They're really cute! … I'll sell the whole set for $75 shipped, or make me an offer.”

Because nothing says eternal devotion like having teeny handcuffs all over everything.

Actual Conversation

So my mother calls me at work yesterday. It's a long story, but she wants me to e-mail her supervisor some information. My mother does not have an e-mail account at work, allegedly due to company policy. I'm thinking there might be more to it than just that.

(Names changed to protect the innocent.)

Mom: Her e-mail address--have you got a pen?--her e-mail address is jane-dot-doe.

Me: OK. What's the rest?

Mom: That's it.

Me: Uh, are you sure there isn't an "@" in there?

Mom: No, I don't think so. Just jane-dot-doe.

Me: Mom, every e-mail address has an "@" in it. There's usually an "@" then a company name and dot-com.

Mom: (Genuinely surprised) Oh. Hold on; let me check. (To her supervisor) I need the rest of your email address. Is it jane-dot-doe@dot-com? Jane-dot-doe@xyz.com? Oh--jane-dot-doe@xyzgroup.com. Oh, well, you didn't tell me that last part before. (Back to me) OK. It's jane (pause) dot-doe (pause) @ xyzgroup-dot- (pause) com. Have you got that?

Yes, mom, I got it.